I’m taking a class this semester called “What is Love?”. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I don’t think I have. Anyway, the class is part of a program at my school called the Common Intellectual Experience (CIE for short). You take the first two sections as a freshman, and there is an optional third section for upperclassmen who wish to take it. We’re five weeks into the semester now, and have done close to ten different readings about the definition of, styles of, and examples of love. It’s been very enlightening to see all of the different perspectives that are out there, and to hear about the myriad ways people perceive love. However, I still don’t know the answer to the question “what is love?”; in fact, I might be more confused now than ever before. I’m doubting the validity of love, as well as my understanding of and ability to love. Is it really transcendent? Can it really last forever? It is certainly nice to dream about. But when it comes down to it, I don’t know if I’m really cut out for love. If it is supposed to be, as many of the writings indicate, an experience that defies all logic and reason- a consuming force that strikes you when you least expect it- I have certainly never felt it. And if I’m being perfectly honest with myself, I don’t know if I could ever give up enough control in my life to let something like that happen.

I don’t know if I am capable of giving someone else the power to completely and utterly destroy me.